Category: Ponderings

A Rough Morning

I make my own cold brew coffee in a Toddy System, and I love it—except when I drain the last pitcher and procrastinate making a new one. Then morning comes, and there’s no cold brew waiting for me. I hate these mornings.

So here I am, wishing someone would magically hand me an ice-brewed coffee, while realizing my entire day is about to feel askew.

Could I make a cup of hot coffee? Of course. But with the humidity sitting at 98%, my skin was weeping before I even brushed my teeth. Hot coffee? I think not.

Could I brew a hot cup and pour it over ice? Sure—but then I’m sipping watery coffee, ew. Maybe I should drink a hot cup in an ice-cold shower? Hmm. See how ridiculous this obsession becomes?

Or—I could actually get out of my pajamas, get in the van, drive one mile to my favorite shop, and buy a cup. They make a delicious iced brew… but it sets me back $8 (with tip). Just coffee. No flavoring, no sugar, no cream. WTH.

Sigh. I’ll just grab a bottle of water and drink it like a good girl. So, if you talk to me today, please lower your expectations…

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My Brain’s New Tenant

Recently my mornings feel like I spent the night front row at a rock concert with several shots of tequila. I promise you, I have not. And yet my brain hurts just the same.

Meet the newest thing in my life: Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension (IIH). I swear they make this stuff up. Basically, it means: “We don’t know why, but your brain is building up too much pressure inside your skull.”

Let me try to explain how it feels: it’s as if a hormonal teenager moved into my head and is blasting vintage Metallica. Or, you know, that piercing sound that makes all moms wince—a toddler having a tantrum in a store aisle. That’s the feeling.

I didn’t invite this monster into my skull, but here IIH is. It’s absurd. And since crying only makes it hurt more, I’ll laugh. No angry teen or bratty toddler is going to break my will. I’ll fight, I’ll live, and I’ll keep laughing in the face of pain—because wit and chutzpah can outsmart anything life throws my way.

Remember: “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1)

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Some days, the best we can do is simply exist.

The to-do lists sit untouched, conversations feel too costly, and the world seems to demand more than we can give.

But still, we breathe.
Still, we are here.
Still, the sun moves across the sky—slowly, faithfully—whether we watch it or not.

Maybe the work of today isn’t accomplishing or producing.
Maybe it’s letting the soul rest, trusting that rest itself is holy.
Even the earth has its seasons of stillness before the green returns.

So if today feels like too much, remember: you are not failing for needing a pause.
You are simply honoring the truth that even the strongest hearts need quiet to keep beating.

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28
Today, let’s lay down the weight we’re carrying and lean into the arms of the One who never grows weary.

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Is This It?

There’s been a lot of movement lately—both below our feet and all around us. The Ring of Fire has been rumbling again, the news cycle is filled with reports of quakes, eruptions, and more shootings than I can emotionally register. It’s hard not to feel the earth itself groaning.

And in times like these, people start to ask: Is this it?

Is this what the Bible warned us about? The birth pains? The unraveling?

I’ve asked it too.

But then I remember: people were asking the same question in 1942, watching the world burn in real time. They asked it during the Black Plague, during the Spanish Flu, during slavery, famine, persecution. The question isn’t new.

What’s striking is not the fear—but the human pattern of forgetting that we’ve been here before.

This doesn’t mean we ignore the warnings. But it reminds me to live alert, not alarmed.

Maybe every generation is given a window to wake up. To look at the world and reckon with what we’ve built, and who we’ve become.

And maybe “the end” isn’t always about apocalypse. Maybe it’s also about invitation.

To return to God.
To bolster our faith.
To strengthen our resolve to love, to live with truth, to walk in light.

So no, I don’t know if this is it. But I know this is real. And that’s enough to live awake—and to return.

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A Little Peek at What I’m Writing

So, I’ve been working on this book—First, Know Thyself—and it’s not really a “book” in the self-help sense. It’s more like a conversation I wish someone had with me years ago. The kind that doesn’t try to fix you, but asks just enough of the right questions to get you thinking, “Wait… what do I actually value? And why do I keep choosing things that don’t match?”

I keep circling this idea that so much stress isn’t about doing too much—it’s about doing what doesn’t line up with who we are. And we feel it. In our bodies. In our relationships. In that gut sense of being slightly off-kilter, even when everything looks “fine” on paper.

The book is part reflection journal, part framework, and part gentle kick in the pants. I wrote it to help those living the chaos of making decisions out of fear, or habit, or someone else’s expectations. And I wanted to explore what it might look like to choose differently—on purpose, with a little more clarity and a lot more compassion.

Anyway, it’s coming along. Slowly. Honestly. And if it helps even one person breathe easier in their own skin, it’ll be worth it.

More soon. 💭

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So busy

Between the new puppy, finishing my first book, and life, I have not had time to put my ponderings down in print. Though I do fall asleep with lots of thoughts each night…. Please stay with me more to come soon!

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